Such A Time As This

I cannot even attempt to cover life since my last entry. Since then I've gone to college, joined a sorority, left the country, been a part of Passion 2011, joined the Clemson Student Alumni Association, found amazing, encouraging, strong friends, and more that I just can't remember right now. I mention all of that in hopes of demonstrating how well God answers prayer. I prayed to be able to find my place in college, and God has surely blessed me beyond anything I could have hoped for. At times I feel as if I'm being pushed to the limit, but I know that God is using it all to prepare me for whatever is to come next, but, and here's what I've really learnt lately, I don't want to miss how he wants to use me now.

A Bible study I'm a part of has been going through the book of Esther lately, and the story really resonates with me. Esther was placed in a position in which she was out of her comfort zone completely. She was faced with a terrifying task, risking her life to save her people. But, her strong cousin Mordecai reminds her of her purpose and God's sovereignty.

"For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?"

Esther 4:14

God did not NEED Esther to save her people. He merely gave her the privilege to be used as part of his glorious plan, even in the midst of her fear and discomfort. I'm trying to remember that now when I feel nervous, overwhelmed, or just out of place. Who knows if God has placed me near certain people, in certain positions, or just at Clemson in general for such a time as this? It's all about maintaining a sense of purpose, and remembering that God's timing is never a coincidence.

Lessons.

So much has happened since my last entry that I really have no idea at all where to even begin. Let's just say I am now a high school gradaute, single, have some of the most amazing new friends anyone could ever ask for, and am completely stoked about what God is going to do this summer.

Let me start with the single bit. Really all I have to say about it is that people cannot be replaced. At least, not for me. Every person who enters my life touches me and changes me in someway, some more than others. Recently, God has blessed me with people who have both brightened my days and taught me some very difficult lessons. I got to see first hand what it looks like when God stops a someone who is running away from Him dead in their tracks, rocks their world, and changes their life. I am confident that God will continue a good work in the lives of those with whom He has blessed me. I do not always understand why things happen. I have learned that God is not just going to simply give me answers, but that He is going to reveal Himself to me, bit by bit. And that, is a beautiful thing.

So yeah, I'm a graduate. Dun dun dun. I could not be more excited about going away to school. Period. I just got back from orientation at Clemson, and I felt like it was a teaser of sorts. I just want to be there. Now.

Now allow me to cover the amazing new friends. I served as a junior counselor at Palmetto Girls State last week. The fact that it was last week breaks my heart. Watching my delgates grow and come out of their shells over the week filled me with joy from remembering what that felt like for me. Additionally, all the other JCs made a huge impression on me. A few of them I already knew, but most of them I was really getting to know for the first time. Talk about blessings. God, in his infinite wisdom, placed me right in the middle of about 20 of the strongest girls in the state right when I was feeling the weakest. They became like sisters to me, and there are a few of them that I really do not know what I ever did without. Their jokes, smiles, pretty faces, kind words, advice, and really just willingness to put up with my crap made them some of the best friends I could ever want. From screaming together until our voices were gone, to attempting to throw a decent skit together, to our wonderful lunch sessions, etc, etc, the memories we made are not going to fade anytime soon. I am beyond thrilled that FIVE of them will be at Clemson with me in the fall. Those that aren't, better be expecting some road trippers to be headed their way!

I think the overall theme of this entry is that God uses people to show us things that we couldn't figure out by ourselves. I have been taught the power of change, seen what miracles look like, and seen live examples of strength, beauty, and love. Thank God for other people. Thank God for his wisdom.

done :]

Today was my last day of high school ever. I am honestly sincerely suprised at how indifferent I am. Sure, I am excited to move on and go to college, and obviously I will miss West Florence a little bit, but I am not leaning towards either extreme at all. I have a fairly healthy sense of balance in this one situation. Next week will be filled with parties and other festivities, so I am sure I will have much more exciting things to blog about then.

Playing Catch-Up

It's been roughly a month since my last entry, and quite an eventful one.

For spring break, we West Florence students made our annual migration to Garden City Beach for the week. I lived in a house with eight of my closest girlfriends on the inlet. It was pretty ideal. Imagine a house where eight girls got along without any drama all week...sounds impossible, correct? Well, it happened. I attempted to tan, and I failed. But, I didn't get burnt any, and if you saw me and my white skin, you would know what an accomplishment that is.

The week after spring break we reluctantly returned to school. I cannot speak for everyone, but for me it was an extremely non-productive week academically. I was full of spring fever from all the sun that I had soaked up, whether you could see it or not. I was having show choir rehearsal after school everyday, and Guys & Dolls rehearsal at the little theater after that every night. And to top it all off, that coming weekend was prom. Focus on class? I think not.

I mentioned show choir rehearsals. Those were for my show choir's big annual show, The Knight Edition Gala. This year the title was "The Music of the Knight." As a senior, I had a recognition section and a solo. Practicing got old of course, but it paid off and the show was a success. The after party was at my house...let me just say there is nothing like playing Apples to Apples and Catch Phrase with show choir kids. Take my word for it.

Gala took place on Friday night, the day before prom. Busiest weekend ever. I accidentally went to the hair salon at the wrong time, so I had to stay there forever so that the girl could firt me somewhere in her schedule. For pictures we all went to my friend Janie's house, and then for dinner we ate at my friend Sarah's house. Prom itself was fantastic. Some people didn't like the DJ, but I danced the whole night, and stayed until the final song. It was my last prom, so I wanted to enjoy every second that I could. Afterward we all went to Janie's cabin in the woods, literally, and sat by the fire for a while before we crashed.

I think I have caught up on all the major events....whew.

Oh, I recently got a twitter account. So far so good, but sometimes I get slightly annoyed with it. There's a link on this page to follow me if you tweet as well!

Official.

Watching: Fox News Coverage of the Health Reform Bill

Reading: The Memory Keeper's Daughter

It's official, I will be a Clemson Tiger next year! Roughly thirty of my classmates will be as well. I'll be rooming with a precious girl I met last summer at Palmetto Girls State, and I am extremely excited about that. As far as the social aspect of college is concerned, I could not be more pumped.

Currently, my major is Psychology. I think I am good with this for now, but every time I settle on some kind of plan, my mom makes me question if it is of any use at all. I thought I wanted to go into Occupational Therapy for grad school, and I still may, but I just can't be certain. It is frightening to be making such a big decision at eighteen. More than likely, I will change my mind when I get to college. Life has a way of surprising us that way.

Today, I am enjoying one of my favorite senior year perks: exam exemption. I have been home the past two days because I was allowed to exempt my midterms. Gotta love those senior privileges.

Windy Gap!

There is absolutely nothing like a weekend at Windy Gap being a Wyldlife leader for middle school girls to wear you out, and get you completely stoked about advancing the Gospel. I just love watching God work in the minds of kids. 

I am really too tired to be in much of a writing mood...but I do just want to make the comment that God is incredible, and he cannot be limited to a weekend in the mountains. Yes, he did some awesome work there, and chances to minister to kids are everywhere you look at camp, but sometimes camp is just the beginning. It's just enough to get kids thinking, to allow us the opportunity to earn their trust.

I have to admit, that every time I am at club, and especially when I am at camp, I catch myself thinking, "What on earth qualifies me to share Jesus with these kids? Am I even capable of conveying God's love to them?"  The answer, I have come to find, is that nothing qualifies me to share Jesus with them, and I am certainly not able to communicate the extent of God's love. But, the truth is, I am willing, and I have the time. God has somehow given me the guts to do this, and has provided a way for me to share what he means to me, if nothing else. 

Fast Forward

Since my last post, I have felt as if life has been on fast forward. In December, I met a pretty awesome guy, and now we are dating. Seems a little fast, but just right too. About four days after we started dating, he accepted Christ. Talk about a great week.

I have been watching God do some incredible things lately. It feels as if a revival is stirring....and that feeling is indescribable. I have been reading the Book of Acts, and discovering the passionate faith of the early church. The word "passion" means suffering, and that is exactly what the early church was about. They suffered for the cause of Christ. I hope to one day have that kind of faith.

In December, I was accepted to Clemson University and Elon University. A few days ago I was accepted to Wofford College. I am officially college bound, the question is now where to.

Oh, and I got a new phone, Verizon's competition to the iPhone, the "Droid." So far, it's great. I highly recommend it.

Oh Christmas Time...

After a much needed Thanksgiving break, my classmates and I have caught Christmas fever. Combine that with our already chronic cases of senioritis, and our teachers can kiss the concept of us learning anything at all before January goodbye. 

We just had the long awaited Christmas Tri-Hi-Dance this past weekend.  A few of my closest friends took pictures at my house before, then we ate in a giant white tent and my dear friend Sarah's house (48 of us, to be exact).  We then went to the dance, and roughly 24 of us spent the night at my friend Lindsay's house afterward. Couples may have been a tad bit confusing leading up to it, but all worked out well and a grand time was had by all. Well, at least all I spoke with. 

Today being the Monday after this weekend of non stop excitement, we all were on a little bit of a buzz kill and feeling very tired. However, there is only a week and a half left before break, less than that for those of us whose hard work will pay off in exam exemption, so I predict the excitement shall pick up again soon! 

Attempting to Catch Up

I am really failing miserably lately at blogging.

The goal of this blog was determined to be telling the tale of the class of 2010.  Right. 

Our football season went out with a bang. A bang to the head that is. We got killed, all the way through. We won one single game all season. But, I really think my class wins the award for the most school spirit. We were still out their cheering for our Knights, rain or shine, hot or cold (and that last game, it was cold). 

A few people have heard back from colleges...not I. But, are the rest of us sweating it? Certainly not. We have much bigger tasks at hand, such as preparing for Tri-Hi-Y, the winter formal hosted by the Tri-Hi-Y girls service club, of which I am chaplain. I am basically leaving the heavy duty planning to my friends. I have my dress, and my date, so I am set. :)

Oh, and I got a job.  Handpicked just opened a store in Florence, so I of course applied for a job instantaneously.  I start work on Wednesday and I am crazy excited. 

Oh, and I got a 93 on my last Calculus test. Look who's smart now!

pointless.

Between school, football, weekend trips to Clemson, and all the craziness that goes along with the fall of your senior year, I have not found time to blog much in the past month.  Sorry! But really, you haven't missed much. Well, at least not much that I could post that would be interesting.

I am currently enjoying one of the most exciting senior perks: midterm exemption.  I am not taking a single exam, so I will not be going to school much over the next few days. I'm really loving this senior thing right about now.

That's really all I have tonight. This was a pretty pointless post, I'll admit. I just felt as if I should post something, since it has been almost a month since I have written anything. 

Night. :)

What Would The Ancients Think?

Somewhere along the way, I think we got off track in our education system.  Somewhere along the way we stopped caring about how much we learn in a class and began worrying only about what grade we earn.  I realize that grades are intended to be a reflection of how much you have learned, but our execution of this is askew.  I, myself, have been guilty of merely regurgitating information for a test or quiz multiple times without thinking anything of it.  We tend to think, "I don't like this subject. I'm never going to use it again. Who cares?" Whatever happened to being an all around well educated person, a positive contribution to society.  I see now that many of the classes that I received a lower grade in are the ones that struggled in the most, therefore I worked harder.  Because I worked harder, I retained more information.  I am not saying that we should strive to make lower grades, but I am saying that we should challenge ourselves more.  I think our educational system would be much more effective if students received slightly lower grades because they were being challenged more. If we were required to take the hardest course we were capable of taking, we would all have lower GPAs, sure, but we would be much more educated human beings.  I am not saying that making good grades is a bad thing.  I am merely proposing the idea that perhaps it has been made all that is important to students.

 Many students, myself included, never studied a day in their life before 11th grade, or 12th grade, or college even.  This is because we were never challenged in their younger years.  Because we were never challenged in our younger years, we made 100s without trying.  We learned nothing, yet were rewarded for scholarship.  This is where our idea of grades mattering more than content came from.  I cannot help but wonder what the ancient scholars, such as Aristotle or Socrates would think of our number obsession, and our apathetic view of actually retaining some knowledge. But, this all in the name of academia, of course, so that we can achieve a higher score on a test, so that we will not be requited to take an exam, so that said exam would not hurt our precious averages and prevent us from getting accepted to some prestigious institution of higher learning, where we plan to do that thing of which we have forgotten the importance...oh what's it called...learn?

Brief Synopsis

I haven't blogged in a few weeks, so let me give brief synopsis of what has been going on lately.

Over labor day weekend I went to England with my Dad. Yes, I went to England for the weekend. Let the heckling begin. This past weekend I went to Pioneer Plunge with my fellow Wyldlife leaders, Young Life leaders, and a couple of Young Life kids. It was a good time. Other than that, we Knights have just been living our lives of football games, chest painting, oh, and that other part of senior year called "school." Me personally, well, I've been babysitting a lot.  I really feel as if childcare has become a full time occupation for me.  I babysit at least once a week sometimes twice, and I drive kids all over Florence everyday.  It's okay though, because in the words of one of the Freshmen I drive around, "I love my kids."

Oh, and I finished reading The Time Traveler's Wife. It was possibly the best book I have ever read.

No One's Gonna Rain On Our Parade

I woke up Friday morning and put on a black t-shirt with a big blue neon lowercase letter "a" on the front of it. On the back, the shirt read "High Wattage" and had a light bulb drawn beneath that.  My friends and I had spent the week making this shirt and fifty-seven other similar ones, all with different neon letters on the front, and different nick names on the back.  They were made for our pep rally line up, and together, 58 people strong, we spelled out "Taylor Elmore, you will always be in the senior's hearts." My class agreed to spell this out to honor our late classmate.  It made those of us who knew him feel that in someway he was with us for that first pep rally of senior year. This is one of the many reasons I love my class.

   We screamed and jumped around like children who had consumed far too much sugar. I am quite confident that one of the things I am going to miss most about West Florence is dancing to the traditional band songs.  They become a part of you, and never fail to get us fired up. How they managed to get us back to class amazes me.

   That night my classmates and I headed out to the stadium to tail gate.  It had been raining all afternoon, and we were really hoping it would stop. The girls all had on button-ups and ties, as is tradition for the West Florence seniors at the first football game of the season. We were gathered around, painting the guys chests, (they were going to spell out "One Knight Stand;" our mascot is the Knights) and it continued to rain.  Not only did it continue to rain, it began to pour.  

   We were soaked down to the skin.  But, none of us left.  We went into the game, and claimed the student section as always.  We danced and cheered and prayed for our Knights. We were playing our rivals, the South Florence Bruins, whom we had beaten every year for the past eight years.  This year broke that tradition.  The Bruins beat us 47-7.  So there we were, the boys with paint running all over them, the girls in neck ties and button ups, soaked all the way through, losing miserably to our rivals for the first time in eight years, we all claimed to be miserable, yet, we were all having a blast.  It is a memory I know we will all keep with us for years.

    After the game, several of us went to Waffle House.  I was talking to one of the guys who had painted up for the game, and he said, "Ya know, I hope every game is like that one." I replied "You mean us being annihilated while soaking wet?" He laughed a little and said, "No, I mean I hope we get that crazy and have that much fun at all of the games."  If my school has one thing, it's spirit.  Even though we were losing, we had at least twice as many fans as South Florence.  That is one of the main reasons I love my Knights, and I love my class. Seniors 2010, the perfect ten, that is.

               

If It's Any Indication...

I do not even know where to begin.  The first week a senior year was definitely a success.  From catching up with friends, to late lunches after early dismissal, everything just seems to be falling into place.  As cliche' as it sounds, my class feels like a family to me this year.  

We had a meeting at Groucho's Wednesday to discuss the t-shirt line for the pep rally.  Now, I cannot say what we are spelling out. We agreed to keep it a surprise. However, I will say that I am extremely excited about it. I really love my class right now. 

Today we all went to Janie's to paint shirts for the pep rally. We spent hours on them, but we are almost done now.  Tonight we went to hear our friend Drake play at Aroma Underground Coffee Shop. Then we all just hung out at Janie's and chatted like the old friends we are.  

If this weekend was any indication of how this year is going to go, then I'm definitely on board.

Day One.

First day of senior year=Fabulous.  I love being a senior. It is really neat to be the oldest, and getting out at two feels wonderful.  

Adele was at my house at eight, and we went to pick up Ben and Charlotte.  I pulled into the parking lot, and parked in my spot which is incredibly close to the building.  I got out and took pictures with my friends, and then we walked over to chat with some of our other classmates.  The day flew by, and I have great people in all of my classes.  

My class is already planning pep rally shirts for next Friday's game against our rival school.  Now, I'm not going to say what we are planning, but I can say that they will be the coolest pep rally shirts my class has ever done, and possibly the coolest ones any class has ever done.  This year is going to be the best; and I can hardly wait to see what all happens.

Movie Reviews & Summer's End.

Whoever you are, you need to go see The Time Traveler's Wife.  It was a phenomenal picture.  Rachel McAdams is brilliant and beautiful, and Eric Bana isn't too bad either. (Understatement, his role of Henry may be the most attractive character I've ever encountered, minus the constant disappearances.)  This film makes you laugh, brings tears, makes you want to fall in love, holds your attention, keeps you thinking, and shows the importance of cherishing your time with people.  I went to see it because some friends suggested it, and it blew me away. Time Traveler's Wife definitely surpasses expectations, and then some.

(As a side note, I have decided that any current pop culture is completely relevant to 2010's senior year; including movies, TV, songs, concerts, trivia, news, etc.)

On a less exciting (while at the same time extremely exciting) note, tomorrow is the first day of school.  Our last first day, well at least of high school.  It is both ordinary and unique; familiar, and strange.  Hold on tight, ready or not, we're about to start the year we've waiting for and our parents have been dreading since kindergarten. 

In order for tomorrow to go as smoothly as possible, I am going relax on this, my last day of summer.  As soon as I finish this and press the orange "PUBLISH POST" button, I am going to take a nap, go to the gym, and then go sit with my beloved LK at her church's annual Youth vs. Adults softball game.  It's a wonderful life. =)

Three.

I currently want to see three movies:

500 Days of Summer

The Ugly Truth

The Time Travelers Wife

Most of my friends have already seen The Ugly Truth, and my sister cannot get into an R rated movie. No one else seems to have heard of 500 Days of Summer.  I'm seeing The Time Traveler's Wife with some of my girlfriends tomorrow. I'll have to work the other two in sometime. 

Dinner & A Scavenger Hunt

Today was all planned out.  Lauren, Caroline, Lindsay, and I were going to drive down to Garden City for one las girls day before we officially start senior year.  We planned this about a week ago.  Unfortunately, today was rather cloudy, rainy, and stormy, so we had to change our plans.  Instead, we went to lunch at Groucho's, watched 17 again, and did what my friends do best: bake.  Today we baked cookies, and we bought cream cheese icing (in a can) and sprinkles to decorate. It was delicious. My baby sister Anna (age 16, yes that is only one year younger than me), got her wisdom teeth out this morning, so we tried to stay quiet for her. She feels awful.

Tonight I participated in a scavenger hunt to welcome my dear friend Kristen Lawson's new friend Cory Wasson to town, at least for a few hours.  My involvement in the scavenger hunt was waiting at West Florence with signs saying "Welcome" and "Go Wildcats," and an ipod set to a High School Musical song.  Sound crazy? Well, it's Kristen.  Cory came into town tonight to ride to Lee University in Tennessee with Kristen.  This sort of breaks my heart.  Kristen is someone that I can confide in whatever the situation.  We are incredibly similar.  I really hate that she is leaving for college.  

Before helping Kristen with her scavenger hunt, I went to dinner with Nes, Adele, Dad, Caroline, and Nes & Adele's parents, to celebrate Nes leaving for Clemson tomorrow.  This also really upsets me.  The Arnettes are very close family friends of ours.  Adele is transferring to my school, so I will be seeing her even more this year, but I will be seeing Nes next to none.  That is going to be really strange, because I am used to both of them crashing at our house on the weekends.

The final girls day of the summer, saying goodbye to Kristen, and celebrating Nes going off to college all reminds me that my last year in Florence is approaching.  It is exciting and scary.  And annoying.  I really do not want to start school just yet.

2010.

I noticed that I actually do have a reader or two; that always make me feel good. I went back actually read some comments from months ago that I had never seen, and they really made me smile. Thanks y'all. =)

If you are a reader of mine, maybe you noticed the new blog description "The Senior Year Chronicles." I am going to be blogging about the events of the Senior Year of the Class of 2010. Not exclusively my own high school's graduating class, but mostly us, considering that is what I know the most about. This may include my own personal life of college apps, youth trips, and Apples to Apples games, or it may include any major events in the news that happen this school year. It could be about my high school's football team (Go Knights!), or a discussion one of my classes had. Anything that I learn this year whether it be academic or otherwise may be woven in. Basically, everything that happens that effects my class's senior year in any way, shape, or form is fair game. If I do write an entry that is primarily concerning my personal experiences, I will try to tie in how I have learned from it, in order to make it relevant to "moving on" which will probably be the predominant theme of this blog over the next few months, though it may just be me needing to vent, which admitedly is what this online journal has been many times. Basically this new theme changes nothing, however, it will give me slightly more of an incintive to write. So here it goes, the story of The Class of 2010's senior year, narrated by one of it's members, so of course slightly focused on her. How narcisistic.

I promise I will attempt to focus on people and things other than myself. Ultimately, this blog should point to Christ, and how he is working throughout our senior year. Let's get started. =)

I blogged yesterday before making this decision about the tragedy that occured right on the brink of our senior year; We will always love you Taylor.

Today's story is not very long; it is simply to say that I have completed two college applications: Clemson & Wofford. I am basically finished with my Elon app as well. I just need to press submit. I have not even thought about tackling the common application yet, which unfortunately is mandatory to apply to Furman. But, considering that the school has not even started yet, I am definitely ahead of schedule.

Oh, and after watching "Julie & Julia" I have been inspired to learn to cook. So, every now and then I may throw in a random recipe if I like it, IF the cooking thing goes well.

J'ai taime!

Emmy =)

Finally.

I haven't blogged all summer. Wow.  This is partially because I have been gone a great deal, but partially because I have been lazy. I haven't had a whole lot to say.  Somehow, I don't think anyone has taken offense.

Now I do have something to say. I have put off writing about this for a while, but now I'm just going to dive into it.  I think it will be good for me to get this all out there. So here goes.

I spent the entire month of July at Camp Greystone.  It was a phenomenal experience.  I lived in the camp bubble where I was constantly reminded of Christ's love for me, and grew closer to God than I had in a while.  Nothing could go wrong.  Life was perfect.  I knew that I would go into a reality shock when I got home, but I never in my wildest dreams expected anything too severe. 

Boy was I wrong.  Two days after arriving home, I was getting ready for a friend's wedding with my family.  Two family friends, Nes and Adele Arnette, were just crashing at our house waiting to go to a movie as my family and I rushed about getting ready to leave.  Just as I was sitting down in my new steel grey dress to put on my heels, ready to walk out the door, Adele looked up from my MacBook where she was on Facebook and asked if I knew Taylor Elmore.  I said, "Yeah. He goes to West Florence and is in my grade. We have had a class together every semester except one.  He runs cross country and is really nice."  She looked back at me and said, "Well, he just died."

My jaw dropped and I went into a brief state of shock.  I just stared down at Nes and Adele.  I was utterly confused.  I really hate that I found out about this via facebook. Technology is so cold.  After about thirty seconds of confusion, I began to bawl.  I could not fathom what could possibly take my sweet, smart, classmate Taylor from us then, two days before senior registration.  I scrambled around for my phone and pressed number five on speed dial, one of my best friends Shannon Weill.  

I asked Shannon if it was true.  She cried on the other end of the line that it was true, and told me Taylor had been in a car accident earlier that day.  His new friend, who had become a very close friend very quickly so I'm told, Hali Roberson, had been with him in the car and was in Charleston in critical condition. (Hali has been recovering remarkably. Praise God.)  I sat down and just cried.  I did not go to the wedding. I hung with Nes and Adele all night, who have an uncanny ability to get my mind off of things. I called another close friend, Lindsay Miranda who was in Georgia with family, and told her what happened.  I hated the facebook statuses.  I wanted them to go away.  I know everyone meant well. But I could not look at them.  

I have never been through such a huge shock in just a few days.  I went from heaven on earth to a living hell in less than three days.  All I could think about was how much worse it was for Shannon and Beau who were so much closer to Taylor than I was, and I loved him a lot so that is saying something.  Not to mention his family.  I pray that God will keep his hands on Taylor's older brother Brian as he starts classes at Clemson this semester.  

Senior registration felt strangely empty to me.  There was so much that went unsaid.  I suppose we all just wanted to pretend everything was normal. We all new that Taylor's visitation was that night. We just did not mention it.  I have never seen that many of my classmates together without anyone cracking a smile.  I stayed at the visitation much longer than I normally would have in order to support Shannon, and pay my respects to the Elmore family, and to Taylor.  Seeing the body was strangely comforting.  As I saw him, I realized that he was not there.  It was not Taylor.  He certainly was not in the casket.  He is with God. 

The funeral was tragic.  I did not think I could cry anymore.  False.  I cried so much more.  Taylor, you will never be forgotten.  Your contagious smile, as your brother put it, will be in our hearts always.  I heard someone describe you as a quiet kid at first, with an undeniable wit.  That sounded pretty accurate.  You were always fun to discuss political issues with, because we always had the exact same opinion.  You made fun of me in Precal, and I made fun of you.  We compared grades in Coach Smith's class, even though I was taking U.S. History and you were taking European History.  I loved competing with you on grades in Mrs. Jordan and Mrs. Robbins' classes, and I love how we both just gave up competing in Precal because we were both so far from the top.  You were such a good, funny, sweet, smart, talented kid, and that has not been forgotten. 

I have no profound statement to make after going through all this.  All I have to say is that I have wrestled with understanding God's timing for the past year.  I have accepted that I never will understand it, but I still wrestle with it.  I am trying to trust that God's plan is so much bigger than I can fathom.  I am so thankful for God's love for us.  Because of his love, I know that you are in a wonderful place right now.  The only pain I should be feeling is for those of us here.  There is no pain to be felt for you, because you are in a place where there is no more pain.  To us, it seems so tragic that you were taken from this earth days before your senior year began, right on the brink of making college plans and filling out applications. For you, the timing is irrelevant.  You are with God, and while I am sure you miss us, you are somehow not saddened by the separation.  I cannot understand that either, but I do not have to, nor do I deserve to.  We often think we deserve explanations, and we really don't deserve anything, let alone the ultimate gift the Father has given us of His Son.  Why should I deserve an explanation, when I have been given this amazing gift of the knowledge that though you are not with me, you are in no pain, and never will be again? Is that not a big enough gift in and of itself?

We love you, Taylor Elmore.  I am not going to say to rest in peace, because you are not resting.  You are worshiping God in some way or another.  Probably running.  That's what you did best, so I am sure you are now doing it for His glory. So keep running the race Taylor, until we all join you one day.