Letting Go, or Handing Over?

Sometimes it feels like you are losing people.  I am no stranger to this feeling.  I am a big fan of fighting against losing friends.  But there are a few friends that I think if I try to hold out any longer I will just lose them that much faster, and probably permanently.  Now, I have no idea if doing nothing will make the loss only temporary or not.  It may still be permanent.  But I do think that it is a safer move than hanging on.  

Because, hanging on would be like hanging on to a vapor.  They have already removed the friendship that was, and that was probably partially my fault as well, but regardless, what was is gone. What's left is not entirely empty, but it is so small compared to what was.  There is no point in clinging to a memory by putting so much effort into what is there now. It is tiring, and disappointing.  

I hope this person knows that I am going to be there for them still if they need me, though I seriously doubt they will call upon me for help.  I'm going to let go purely because it is healthy and they haven't really left me another choice, not because I want to.  If I had the choice, I would hang on as if letting go would make me fall to my death.  But that choice is not mine.  

"Just let go" is such a cliche phrase.  There is so much more to it than that, and it means different things to everyone.  I am no good at grasping the concept of letting go.  I'm trying to learn to just hand things, and people, over to God.  Somehow that seems more loyal than letting go.  In a way I feel like letting go of certain friends makes it appear that I don't care, and that is completely inaccurate.  Handing them over to God feels like a more loving way to go about it.  I still care, I have just accepted there is nothing I can do to keep them in my life. And as much as I love them, God loves them even more.  There is no kinder thing I can do for them than to hand them over to God.  Their affiliation with me is in God's hands.  

The reason I chose to blog about this, is because I think it will help me stick to my decision to leave it all to God.  I've said it and it's public,  even though the reader here has no clue who I'm referring to, well except a select few.  And even those of you who think you know who I am referring to, I think I know your guess, and if I'm correct then you are guessing wrong.  But even still, you have been informed of my decision and I'm going to stick to what I've told you.

I certainly hope that there will be a time when they are once again a significant part of my life, but now is not that time.  "But it's no victory, always running away like I do.  Always know that I'll come back to you.  Yes, always know that I'll come back to you."-Jack's Mannequin.